You and Your Aging Parent: A Family Guide to Emotional, Social, Health, and Financial Problems

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When she called, I got that "slow burn" feeling that comes over me when I hear about financial elder abuse. Mom and her lawyer had set it up that way, at Mom's request. It's just not practical.

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They didn't all trust each other and clearly, there was a deliberate attempt to exclude Carrie from the money decisions. This makes her vulnerable, even if she is functioning fairly well in caring for herself at this time. This is a brewing crisis. In this case, a long standing pattern of making Mom's books available to all 3 siblings was altered. Mom is When Carrie got excluded from online access to Mom's accounts, it raised a red flag.

A family member lives with the parent and depends on the parent for financial support. Now, he's using Mom's credit card and he apparently doesn't want Carrie to see what he's spending.

You and Your Aging Parent A Family Guide to Emotional Social Health and Financial

Sometimes this situation is a recipe for abuse because it's just too easy to rip off the aging parent, who is vulnerable to manipulation. When there is anyone blocking visits, restricting access of other family members to the elder, it's another red flag. An adult child insists on being present when anyone else is with the aging parent. If the elder has concerns, the abuser doesn't want the aging parent to reveal this to anyone and may have frightened the elder into silence.

A family member has a substance abuse problem and has influence over an aging parent with memory problems. Memory impaired aging parents are "easy pickings" for money to support the dependency habit. The adult child or other relative uses the relationship with the elder to manipulate "loans" out of the elder and the elder forgets what happened or can't make sense of it but says yes.

These problems are very common.

Individual counseling can also be helpful. Caring for parents can also affect relationships between your brothers and sisters. For some, the experience of caring for parents can bring together siblings who have lost contact and strengthen family ties. For others, caring for parents can bring out old rivalries, or reinforce old communication problems. Skip to main content.

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7 Resources When Caring for an Elderly Parent | Discover

Talking with parents about their future Talking with your parents about long-term care needs can be difficult. One of the topics includes talking with your parents about long term care and preparing for change. The guide is designed to help you and other family members discuss and create a caregiving plan for an aging parent, other relative, close friend, or neighbor. Caregiver Guides The following are all booklets that include step-by-step instructions on the basics of providing care.

If your parent has to go into a care home, your local authority will carry out a needs assessment to find out if they qualify for financial support. Depending on their income, savings and assets, your parent may have their care home fees paid in full by the local authority or in part — where you or another relative pays the rest.

10 Psychology Problems Caused by Parenting Behavior

Or they may be fully responsible for paying their care bills. Find out more by reading our Guide to power of attorney. There are of course, many more things to consider when you decide to take on the role of carer for an elderly parent. Knowing where to go for help can make all the difference. The following organisations also offer advice and support on a range of issues:. You can also read more about how we help carers by downloading our Care Matters newsletter. I've always enjoyed work, but I do feel my bipolar disorder has interrupted my career regularly and pulling it back on track is a lot of work, so having a coach helped with this.

We're very lucky to have the support of family, but still, they don't have the same expertise as an Occupational Therapist. I think it's wonderful to have a service where a specialist can advise you. Advisors are available 24 hours a day. All online support is entirely confidential. Talk to us online Talk to us online Got a question for our support team?

Talk to us online with our live chat. Chat now No thanks Please don't show me this again. All calls are confidential. Caring for ageing parents Share. Will your parent have to move closer to you — or you to them? How will your social life be affected — will you have time for friends? Will your parent need special equipment, including mobility aids, to help them at home?


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If you have siblings, how can you make sure you each take equal responsibility in caring for your parent?